Saturday, 25 October 2008

idiotically useless dreamer...


it's my 1st time crying so hard for such a long time and feeling so angry about my useess self
...
it's really painful knowing that i'm not able to go to Hiroshima.... although I alr know there's high possibility that i cant afford it...
it just strikes me hard as if i realized that the whole time.... I still havent done anything significant enough to make my dream come true..
i'm just going on whining and dreaming...
and asking for my mom's help
i cant even save money, not to mention to earn it myself!
...
in the end i'm still so useless and childish as always and the only thing i resort to ...again is crying like a helpless baby not knowing how to get what she wants!

have to mention that i always want everything to be my way! such selfish nature...
anw evenbthough i'm saying that i know i havent dne anything so far... i still havent figured out what i can do and what i have to do dont i?
will it just be another useless talk and useless time spending...
look at my fren, they work hard to earn what they want!
and what i'm doing here? dreaming and being reminiscent?
it's just frustrating and idiotically stupid

i dont want to cry out of helplessness and anger and frustration like this again... anymore
do sth!


Masayume - Spitz

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