Japan, miss and...

oh can say that i'm too excited just by the that very very simple and normal sentence...
at least not that insignificant haha
although for sure, it's just being polite :D
thanks for lighting up my day
what to do with my dream... what will happen i still dont know
but for sure i wont let it go
should not be able to i think
....

just that I miss Japan and AKita
i miss all the cold night with hanabi
miss the momo beer we used to have with the snacks and how we called it party
miss the bell ringing every morning for breakfast
miss the night library visit we always made for the sake of seeing someone
miss the route passing by someone's room and secretly peeking through the window
...so silly yet so cute haha
in short, i just miss everything...that time, that place
and all the things we did together
until when...?
or just never ...

this vast emptiness in mine... somehow doesnt feel very vast anymore...
maybe it's been filling with my dream of going to Japan
...so until it comes true, pls dont take it away...

...anything

world is not so pink and sky is not that blue
everyone must have known this fact
by living, certainly pple hurt each other eventhough they never have the intention to...
there are things we may comprehend but there's also thing that cant just be explained easily
matters are not all black and white
human is even more complicated
what's going on in one's mind, the others, no matter how closed would never ever fully aware of

well i dont even know what's the point i'm trying to convey 8-| LOL
just that i'm trying my best to keep everything going on in the simpliest way
selective perception, only take in what i want to haha
i know i'm all kind of selfish and cruel
but isnt it just how human is supposed to be
yeah u can be all naive jumping up and down disagreeing
but u'll never know what'll happen
u get hurt by pple and some time later, u just go around hurting others...eventhough u dont have the slightest thoughts to
just by the fact of living...that's what i say
maybe i'm just too gloomy and crazy to say so
but yeah haha
i'm twisted to begin with

my goodness....cant believe that i want to see someone haha ...stupid and childish as always =.=

principle?...

to me, nothing is absolute
i live by that principle, think by that principle, rationalize my world by that principle

too greedy, often i never know how to treasure things i guess
to me, everything is too fragile, too fragmented, too fleeting
i fear of losing things...yes...but i also fear myself losing interest in things before it leaves me
it sounds a bit ironic i guess

somehow, the way i comprehend everything is a bit twisted i guess
once in a while, pple would tell me they dont understand what i want to communicate
maybe i live in my world too much and it's too complicated to let any outsider really get a grasp of what's been going on
up to now, almost everyone fails
....

feeling greedy now, as if i would lose everything if I wouldnt speed my pace up, as if everything would vanish rite this moment
....it's aching and torturing my mind

それは。。。？

just that i re-watched 5 centimeters per second again
and it sure depresses me somehow
...not to mention the soundtrack and how it reminds me of AIU ...
somehow it feels painful...

human ...is just so helpless standing in front of this universe rite...
is there a really so-called fate after all?
in order to not lose sight of our dream...what shall i do... what can i do?
or i'll just be that helpless watching my dreams pass by without being able to do anything
wanna get hold of my dreams though...is it such an impossible thing
...
miserably missing Japan
my messed-up brains are speeding with thoughts and questions again ...should just sleep away 1st then ...



これ以上何を失えば 心は許されるの
どれ程の痛みならば もういちど君に会える
One more time 季節よ うつろわないで
One more time ふざけあった 時間よ

くいちがう時はいつも 僕が先に折れたね
わがままな性格が なおさら愛しくさせた
One more chance 記憶に足を取られて
One more chance 次の場所を選べない

いつでも捜しているよ どっかに君の姿を
向いのホーム 路地裏の窓
こんなとこにいるはずもないのに
願いがもしも叶うなら 今すぐ君のもとへ
できないことは もうなにもない
すべてかけて抱きしめてみせるよ

寂しさ紛らすだけなら
誰でもいいはずなのに
星が落ちそうな夜だから
自分をいつわれない
One more time 季節よ うつろわないで
One more time ふざけあった時間よ

いつでも捜しているよ どっかに君の姿を
交差点でも 夢の中でも
こんなとこにいるはずもないのに
奇跡がもしも起こるなら 今すぐ君に見せたい
新しい朝 これからの僕
言えなかった「好き」という言葉も

夏の想い出がまわる ふいに消えた鼓動

いつでも捜しているよ どっかに君の姿を
明け方の街 桜木町で
こんなとこに来るはずもないのに
願いがもしも叶うなら 今すぐ君のもとへ
できないことはもう何もない
すべてかけて抱きしめてみせるよ

いつでも捜しているよ
どっかに君の破片を
旅先の店 新聞の隅
こんなとこにあるはずもないのに
奇跡がもしも起こるなら 今すぐ君に見せたい
新しい朝 これからの僕
言えなかった「好き」という言葉も

いつでも捜してしまう どっかに君の笑顔を
急行待ちの 踏切あたり
こんなとこにいるはずもないのに
命が繰り返すならば 何度も君のもとへ
欲しいものなど もう何もない
君のほかに大切なものなど

How much more will I have to lose, before my heart is forgiven?
How many more pain will I have to suffer, to meet you once again?
One more time, oh seasons, don't disappear
One more time, the time when we were messing around

Whenever we argued, I would always give in first right?
Your selfish nature made me love you even more
One more chance, the memories stopped my legs
One more chance, I cannot choose my next destination

I’m always searching, for your figure to appear somewhere
On the opposite platform, in the windows along the lane
Even though I know you couldn’t be at such a place
If my wish were to come true, I would be at your side right away
There would be nothing I couldn’t do
I would put everything on the risk and hold you tight, I'll show you.

If I just wanted to distract my loneliness, anybody would have been enough.
The stars seems like it will fall in the night which is why i can't lie to myself.
One more time, oh seasons, don't disappear
One more time, the time when we were messing around

I’m always searching, for your figure to appear somewhere
Even when I'm crossing a street, Even in the midst of my dreams
Even though I know you couldn’t be at a place like this!
If a miracle were to happen, I would want to show you immediately
A new morning, who I’ll be from now on
And the words i never said called: "I Love You"

The memories of summer are revolving
The throbbing which suddenly disappeared

I’m always searching, for your figure to appear somewhere
At dawn on the streets, at Sakuragi-cho
Even though I know you couldn’t be at a place like this!
If my wish were to come true, I would return to your side right away
There would be nothing I couldn’t do
I would risk everything and hold you tight I'll show you!

I’m always searching, for fragments of you to appear somewhere
At a traveller’s store, in the corner of newspaper,
Even though I know you couldn’t be at a place like this!
If a miracle were to happen, I would want to show you immediately
A new morning, who I’ll be from now on
And the words I never said called: “I Love You.”

I always end up looking for your smile, to appear somewhere
At the railroad crossing, waiting for the express to pass
Even though I know you couldn’t be at such a place
If our lives could be restarted,
No matter how many times it will be I will go back to you
What I would wanted then would then be nothing
The Things Other Then You!