will i ever grow up =.=

came back from Japan
and this feeling of unease and loss always seem to linger around me ><
bittersweet? nostalgic?
in 2 weeks in Japan, i cried like thrice ...i think
just because of the overwhelming of that pure fantasy world of Ghibli, and the sadness of having to say goodbye

when watching Mei and koubus-neko, somehow i just cant help feeling lost in the innocent and fantastical immagination of a faraway childhood that i cant return
and that i can no more touch that world
that i need to grow up
it's sadddening beyond words...

and i cant stop crying thinking of having to leave Hiroshima, having to leave Japan after few days
even though always know that there's always a time you have to say good-bye
and things at that time just wont return no matter how you wish for it
things just have to come and be gone
but it's still better, being able to taste the sweetness of encounter ...rite? even though the greater the encounter is the vaster the emptiness spread in time of saying good-bye

and Japan
it's dazzling as always
it never fails to amaze and touch my soul

maybe i have the confidence to say that i can withstand the harshness i may overcome having to work and live there
would prefer to live in small town rather than Tokyo thou ^^
even though it reduces my chance of running across Ohchan haha

...how far have i fall for Japan i think i cant just estimate haha

or maybe theis feeling is just the effect of having a wonderful dream and suddenly being thrown back to reality

maybe i take in too much and expect too much so, more prone to disappointment
ahhhhhhh~ wanna go somewhere really cold to spend Christmas away T_T
since i'm nt able to spend it in Japan T_T

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
need some arashi to refresh!

kimi wo nosete

to december, the month i've always loved ~

today is another rainy day in Singapore
the idea of going out on rainy days is always bothering me =.=' with all the dirts, water, wet clothes @_@ whatever irritation you name it

but somehow today's walk wasnt all that bad i guess... my clothes did get wet and my hair did tangle but probably walking leisurely listening to music calmed me down...or rather made me temporarily forget the intimidating boredom of singapore

and it reminded me of Ohchan again ...how he loves to walk and how he's a ame no otoko <3 ~

haha and since i didnt bring ipod (on which i'd always listen to Arashi's playlist), i used handphone instead
even though handphone playlist is quite updated but there're quite lots of songs of different taste, from piano to Jpop LOL
it's nice once in a while, like i was walking back on my memories of days that i was into such and such piece of music ~

as expected lots of Ghibli's music still dazes me with its innocent, beauty and tranquility...

like this piece from Laputa... i really really love it
and walking alone under the rain, with such melody and image dancing around in your head, somehow i just want to let my tear drop
coz the piece is just too beautiful to be true... too pure to come to exist...

yes it's just my world of wonder, my fantasy...
i wonder if he feels the same listening to it XD haha (by "he" it only refers to one person in my mind now LOL ...omg XD)

Carrying You (Laputa) - Joe Hisaishi