personality test :D

I did this test like ...almost 2 yrs ago ... or so I thought
The result then was also dreamer... but I rmb that the other part is not really the same and that at that time, i didnt feel that the result was correct abt me ...

and now i just feel completely satisfied w this one haha
well, not satisfied... just somehow feel that it really is what i perceive
probably since i'm more matured and less confused ... hopefully lol
=.=

anw, it's abt that
it's quite fun though... redoing it
... now it's time for assignments =.=
how i hate them T_T

kind of into this song right now
dunno why... probably coz the lyrics reminds me of sth i always long for haha

Panorama - Gakuen Heaven

Code Geass - after effect

just an old story and some stupid feelings but it still lingers ...even now
still anything that relates to such ideology, such ideal relationship that i've built for my own all this time remains with such power to trigger every single pieces of emotion that hide somewhere deep inside... and it always leaves me w memories and tearful eyes

after all, it's just such a perfect imagination and ideology ...so perfect that i can only find its reflection in the unreal world...

wonder when i can really get rid of all of this? maybe i should just grow up n get more experience from the reality so that such ideal would no longer overshadow everything in front of me... so that it would slowly enter the never ending flow of time...leaves no traces on me

but then does it mean that all memories would also fade away by then?

human is contradictory themselves, always
just like how u hate to be deceived yet you would lie to the others
like how u hate to be hurt yet you cant help hurting others
like how u want to forget sth but when it's truly gone, you'll be in pain and panic

in the end, there's so resolution i can come up with
coz i'm just afraid to sacrifice anything? coz i have no specific goal and no determination to do it by whatever means i gain?
n using excuse n reasons all the time? what's good for all of them?
isnt it better to just throw away sth in order to achieve sth more precious?
but what is it that i most treasure? that...i even dont know

nothing will start and nothing will end...wont it?

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Even just with that single droplet
I just might be able to protect the flower
It's your smiling face, and with that alone
I can even reach out my hands
If you gather up those trembling voices
You just might be able to start a wind
Light the fleeting glow known as your life
And move your feet forward

La la la la la la la la lan
Let's meet again someday
La la la la la la la la lan
As long as we're still alive

What are my overflowing thoughts
That overcome time yet get caught by it?
Where are those people now?
Who keep kindness in corners of their eyes

There's a new seat next to me
We'll meet again for the sake of the future
Let's try living through the day known as today
For as long as we can without façades
It's sad and painful for people
Nevertheless, their roads continue endlessly

La la la la la la la la lan
Let's meet again someday
La la la la la la la la lan
As long as we're still alive

La la la la la la la la lan
That which the wind carries
La la la la la la la la lan
Is a melody that opens up tomorrow

La la la la la la la la lan
Let's meet again someday
La la la la la la la la lan
As long as we're still alive

La la la la la la la la lan
That which the wind carries
La la la la la la la la lan
Is a melody that opens up tomorrow

会いたくて

oh... now that i looked back, i'd alr composed the 1st entry of 2009 out of my frustration with Twilight w/o knowing that it's the 1st of 2009...

it doesnt really matter anw

and again what i wanted to put down is another story

yes, i was taken aback
... pretty much caught off guard as i never expected such

it's just that someone who is important to me just dropped me a msg informing his departure for Australia tmr

well... so more than 4 yrs has passed since i became his so-called lil sis
4 yrs of him adressing me by another nickname other than the one everyone uses... hope he wont use it w the others though lol

haha before i knew, i've alr grown to adore and etch in amap all the memories, all the very little thing that my first ever brother (or at least used-to-be) gave me

just that after such long time w/o conversing, he still rmb to drop me a msg, which is just so ...out of the blue
and as ever, touching me and surprising me

maybe i'm not that invisibe in his memory ....hopefully
at least i should be accompanied w sth like used-to-be lil sis haha

or maybe it's just his nature that cant get him to just ignore n forget stupid girls like me

anw, safe trip and all the best to you :D
the one person who i probably carry the most memories about

本当に会いたくて。。。


涙そうそう

古いアルバムめくり　ありがとうってつぶやいた
いつもいつも胸の中　励ましてくれる人よ
晴れ渡る日も　雨の日も　浮かぶあの笑顔
想い出遠くあせても
おもかげ探して　よみがえる日は　涙そうそう
一番星に祈る　それが私のくせになり
夕暮れに見上げる空　心いっぱいあなた探す
悲しみにも　喜びにも　想うあの笑顔
あなたの場所から私が
見えたら　きっといつか　会えると信じ　生きてゆく
晴れ渡る日も　雨の日も　浮かぶあの笑顔
想い出遠くあせても
さみしくて　恋しくて　君への想い　涙そうそう
会いたくて　会いたくて　君への想い　涙そうそう

I whisper “thank you”, as I leaf through this old photograph album,
to one who always cheered me on, within my heart
And should the memories of that smile I think of, *1
come rain or shine, fade away into the distance
They return in the days I search for a glimpse of your face, a stream of tears
Almost a habit now, I wish upon the very first star *2
Looking within the evening skies for you with all my heart
The memories of that smile I think of, in sorrow or joy
And if you can see me, from where you are
I’ll live on, believing that someday we’ll meet again
And should the memories of that smile I think of,
come rain or shine, fade away into the distance
In loneliness and yearning - my feelings for you, a stream of tears
If only we could meet, if only we could meet - my feelings for you, a stream of tears

Nada Sou Sou - RImi Natsukawa

twilight and my final note on disappointment =.=

ok i was a few pages from finishing Eclipse - the 3rd boook in Twilight series and i couldnt refrain from the urge to write down my bitter criticism =.=
it's just so frustrating that i dont really wanna finish the 4th book anytime soon though i'd told myself to finish the whole series before school term starts =.=

goodness

As much as i love how the writer had created the absolute perfect and desirable Edward Cullans, I hate her just about as much when she tried so hard to put them three in a kinda tragic triangle love that heavily resembles the one in Wuthering Heights...
chezzz wth
i dont expect Jacob to have the same light with Heathcliff =.=
and i never expect her to put Edward with the tiniest resemblance to Linton either

it sucks to the core to add such unnecessary melodrama and stupidly faking the tragic that does not really exist between 3 teenagers with more just a bit ore special than normal human

anw, she has it now, my denial towards Twilight
so in the end, it turns out that it's just some stupid teenager's love story that tries to take on the mask of literature by mocking other literature masterpieces

ruins the whole things up to now

well, it's just so frustrating n stupid that i have to stop my reading and venting my irritation here...

and i still have the intention to finish the book later....which surely cast all my bitter criticism invalid =.=

well, i just am not growing up enough to stop reading it yet at the same time not immature enough to wholeheartedly accept it =.=

...still i hope Edward still sticks to his representation of absolute perfection as he is now (pg 585- 3rd book of Twilight _ Eclipse)

he's the only reason i keep reading it now =.=

sigh
shattered image through 2 chapters =.=...stupid!