あけまして～

あけまして、おめでとう！～
realized that there's no post for new year...so just start ^^

school starts for me and i have new hair cut...for better or for worse i dunno
and i really need to loose weight!seriously T_T
and i'm spending money like crazy =.='

well apart frm all those complaints, i'm happy to receive the email of my host family <3
they're really soo cute haha
making me miserably missing Japan more at time like this
looking at all the photos, of places i've been to in Japan
it's really bittersweet rite
trying to be logical, nostalgia makes your memories seems way better and saddens you with its very nature... there's no return to the past
things gone are gone no matter how beautiful they were
well it's a bit depressing rite ...

somehow i feel like the older you get, the more oblivious you're to these kind of stuff
mayb at some point, you learn how to get used to your self-created loneliness, solitude...

just that looking at photo of the place you've been to, the pple you've met...and you feel like some forgotten parts in you try to wake up ... like something there will go missing soon...like you'll start to forgot all of those memories soon in no time
it's scary!
just imagine you start to forgot what you really love, what you really embrace and just live along the flow of life ><
dreams and hopes all forgotten...

if possible i dont want to forgot a single second of my life... eventhough there're lots of parts i wish that they werent my memories haha

only in my 20s and i alr feel like i'm losing parts of my memories
if there's a way we can really reserve our memories each and every seconds...

haha would it make nostalgia less perfect then
coz some pple said memories are good coz we only rmb the best part of it

well, i'm starting to go round and round again
if more than one thought is in my head, sooner or later, i'll just be carried further and further away from my original idea/ intention/ emotion hahah

maybe that' shy i love blogging, scribbling things down and my thoughts would just caryy me away from all the stress and depression in no time

that's why i hardly stay depressed LOL


...just for not to forget my original intention of this entry, i really miss Japan
AIU and the time i was there
AIU and its pretty campus and cute students
we had loads of fun there...
it's only 1 yr and 4 months but it seems like somewhere in my 5 yrs ago time ><

and Hiroshima... and my host family
only last month and it alr feels like last yr ><

...
ok
suddenly think of new year resolution now
what should i achieve? i'll keep it deep down in my heart so that the wind wont blow it away from me
will my wish be granted if i keep it a secret?
hhaha
GANBARE~!!!

at times all feel like they'll drift away frm me sooon, slowly, little by little... and i'll be left alone...why all good things seem so fleeting and ephemeral?

at times i feel like i'm really loved and blessed by pple surrounding me
and at times i feel like i'm losing myself to life, losing my dreams to reality, to my own useless self

GANBARE!!!!!!!!
大ちゃんもずっと頑張っているよ！短い道がないから信じる道に行くしかないから！

@pix:love his face like this, a bit of shy, a bit of blur, a bit of effort
and childish as always ~
itsumo daisuki da yo <3