what can i say ~

oh i really really love Japanese class haha XD
even though it's the most time-consuming and effort-consuming mod T_T (i'm slow reader to begin w... and kanji just really tests my patience ><)

today we read a short love story haha
you see this is why and how i love Japanese
it's just so simple and cute beyond words~ XD ...
like how they would convey feelings in a very subtle way, like how they wont really speak their mind but would just use all the gestures instead

light-hearted, subtle, slow-paced and gentle
ahhhhhhhh it's not like i'm very romantic but this is it, the ideal romance for me ~
just routine, daily life with such slight difference ...

just a date-like meeting without any promise
just how they long to that certain day to see each other in the most natural possible way, like some nice coincidence happening each week
and just happy being able to see that person on that random certain day so that some random story could be carried on
and secretly hope for any physical contact, eventhough it's just eyes meet eyes, eventhough it's just some casual handshake
and how they turn shy when some vague commitment like a light-hearted promise to meet again is formed
...
that's really my world of romance, my exact type XD haha

gentle, casual, with a little bit of anticipation, a little bit of secret happiness a semmed-to-be-casual promise that takes the whole couragement gathered in a year haha...and shyness
pure and lovely...i think ^^

maybe a bit of mischief and surprise would complete my list haha
and something deep down is vaguely taking shape, slowly but firmly

...sigh
i seriously think i wont ever be married (though i really love to have son ><)
...

it suddenly reminds me of my host family, how otousan and okaasan cares for each other
and how they care for me... without speaking out loud

like he would just go find the key that she didnt rmb where she had put
like he would scare to be scolded by her coz things turned out differently
like how she knows perfectly what he likes or not
like how they would always affectionately complained abt each otehr's bad habits
...and they would always patiently waith for each other
and silently look over each other, supporting each other
and appreciate all the things the other would sacrifice for them
...well that kind of love, without speaking out loud, with nurture and devotion
...
well it's not like i mean that you can just not speak and all act up what you think, everything is not that black and white
what i mean is words are nothing compared to touch or physical contacts, invisible devotion and care...and time...

well whatever ...
i cant really describe what i mean anw T_T (wth i jst suck w words@_@...in any language :-s )

but yeah that's basically my ideology of romance after 23 yrs 1 month and a few more days breathing on this planet

called me foolish dreamer or idiotic idealist or whatever u want but it's just how i grow up and what i have been absorbing
...
sighhhhhhhhh
and that's why the future life now for me, in every aspects, love, career, family...ect is so dark and unforeseeable T_T

mahhhh
sho ga nai, dare demo onaji da yo




maybe that's how Japan and Ghibli and all my preference is so appealling to me LOL =.='

and that's why this song is really really so sweet
...waiting for someone who hasnt even appeared yet

@this is my vision of Ohchan: natural, clueless, pure, gentle, adorable and a bit of mischievous