sometimes it strucks me if what i'm chasing really means anything
when i couldnt be near pple to whom my existence matters
a painful realization that i might in the end have to step on every single principle of my naive ideology to keep going on and pursuing this dream
like a catastrophe sweeping through, leaving behind a me in a lost paradise, puzzled and confused all over again
still i dont ever want to let go of this tiny world of mine, of naive beliefs in miracle and wonders and justice -
i'm born reluctant to everything that i have no interest in ... so please dont make me suffer frm this lack of inspiration any longer
intrigue me please ><
meeting and talking w friends only gives me a short-term peace of mind
and soon, reality remains that i still need to drag myself to work and to the world of responsibility and grown-ups
i'm no longer a kid, i'm telling myself over and over again bt i couldnt shake the desire of being spoiled and pampered =.='
well the earth turns and time flows
so i wont be able to stand still and ask for a pause rite
but
in a tiny dusty corner of my brain, eternal autumn comes and remains
as still and wholesome as the absolute solitude of an existence
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