Tuesday, 6 December 2011
もののけ姫
悲しみと怒りにひそむまことの心
教えるは森の精、もののけ達だけ。。。
it's just absolutely beautiful and needless for translation
music does a wonderful task in conveying and transmitting the inevitable solitude of a prideful human's soul
which makes it all the more exquisite
needless to say how it attracts me
maybe i just let that etherealness in Kawabata's beautiful words captivates me too abundantly
let's burn the week ahead in the bitchy bitter eyes +_+
well ultimately, human is born and extinct... alone
melody
it's like a lullaby to gently sing the farewell to your sweetheart
maybe that is why the lyrics are mixed with so many English phrases
...just to ease the depth and intensity of the words in their own language
or they just need to be there to tenderly comfort the sorrow in their very way
love it got many reasons
Wednesday, 23 November 2011
rain comes and vanishes with trances of thoughts and images
pieces of memories, infinite wish or surrealistic dreams
all blends to each other only to shatter to pieces
it takes my mind to some mystic forgotten land in minutes
..but soon enough reality would encroach and rob us away from the land of melancholy
time rolls by forces us to grow up
just as i cant ignore the call of my heart, i cant forget my responsibility to family and society either
it is what i decide to carry through no matter what
so here i am, facing the big winding road with greyish sky and grumbling thunder above
it's dark and frightening
but after all, it's all just some hindrance that pushes us forward
so face it, take it and live with it
sigh........
yes i have to grow up and be a big sister NOW
Wednesday, 24 August 2011
a few day more to September
this song is called "Masshiro" which means Pure white in Japanese...
for some reason the melodies and lyrics has a mysterious power that draws me in irresistibly and effortlessly ..
the meaning of lyrics can be googled :)
when the sound and scent still lingers..
for some reason the melodies and lyrics has a mysterious power that draws me in irresistibly and effortlessly ..
the meaning of lyrics can be googled :)
when the sound and scent still lingers..
Monday, 22 August 2011
august - of guilt and conscience =.='
"There were times when he wanted to shout out his guilt at the top of his voice. But then her terrible self-sacrifice would be in vain. Would it really be an act of courage to nullify that for the sake of quieting his conscience? Or did true courage demand rather that he silently endure his present existence as a virtual prisoner? It was too complex an evaluation for him"...
from Spring Snow by Mishima Yukio
crime and guilt and all the convention that attaches with such notion rooted its origin with human society and their so-called constructed morality and righteouness.
and all the human growing up in such society would try to conform desperately to these constructed moral codes obediently.... until one day they come to realize the vantage point, the controversy of such notion when they themselves stuck in their own abyss of their self-defined guilt and shame
it is ironic, however, that the courage to live against society and their convention yet again build another dilemma as one need to take into consideration whether their own conscience has trampled on others' social life, or socially-accepted life...
my oh my, wonder why do i look at society so cynically and indifferently =.='
.... in the chaos of packing and moving...still *_*
and my working life passed the mark of one year +_+
from Spring Snow by Mishima Yukio
crime and guilt and all the convention that attaches with such notion rooted its origin with human society and their so-called constructed morality and righteouness.
and all the human growing up in such society would try to conform desperately to these constructed moral codes obediently.... until one day they come to realize the vantage point, the controversy of such notion when they themselves stuck in their own abyss of their self-defined guilt and shame
it is ironic, however, that the courage to live against society and their convention yet again build another dilemma as one need to take into consideration whether their own conscience has trampled on others' social life, or socially-accepted life...
my oh my, wonder why do i look at society so cynically and indifferently =.='
.... in the chaos of packing and moving...still *_*
and my working life passed the mark of one year +_+
Thursday, 14 July 2011
of nothing and everything
さようならの夏
光る海に かすむ船は
さよならの汽笛 のこします
ゆるい坂を おりてゆけば
夏色の風に あえるかしら
わたしの愛 それはメロディー
たかく ひくく 歌うの
わたしの愛 それはカモメ
たかく ひくく 飛ぶの
夕陽のなか 呼んでみたら
やさしいあなたに 逢えるかしら
散歩道に ゆれる木々は
さよならの影を おとします
古いチャペル 風見の鶏(とり)
夏色の街は みえるかしら
きのうの愛 それは涙
やがて かわき 消えるの
あしたの愛 それはルフラン
おわりのない言葉
夕陽のなか めぐり逢えば
あなたはわたしを 抱くかしら
---
as i forbid myself to contemplate on the issue, i have no idea how to pick up the exact word to draw the effect needed to describe such emotion
hopeless is hopeless
the foresee end is to come and takes with it all, sweeps even the tiniest dust away with its irresistible force
and then even the memory of the physical body will fade
everything becomes nothingness in the flow of time and space
...
夕陽のなか めぐり逢えば
あなたはわたしを 抱くかしら
光る海に かすむ船は
さよならの汽笛 のこします
ゆるい坂を おりてゆけば
夏色の風に あえるかしら
わたしの愛 それはメロディー
たかく ひくく 歌うの
わたしの愛 それはカモメ
たかく ひくく 飛ぶの
夕陽のなか 呼んでみたら
やさしいあなたに 逢えるかしら
散歩道に ゆれる木々は
さよならの影を おとします
古いチャペル 風見の鶏(とり)
夏色の街は みえるかしら
きのうの愛 それは涙
やがて かわき 消えるの
あしたの愛 それはルフラン
おわりのない言葉
夕陽のなか めぐり逢えば
あなたはわたしを 抱くかしら
---
as i forbid myself to contemplate on the issue, i have no idea how to pick up the exact word to draw the effect needed to describe such emotion
hopeless is hopeless
the foresee end is to come and takes with it all, sweeps even the tiniest dust away with its irresistible force
and then even the memory of the physical body will fade
everything becomes nothingness in the flow of time and space
...
夕陽のなか めぐり逢えば
あなたはわたしを 抱くかしら
Monday, 20 June 2011
oh monday
in the acceptable time and space, the key is to expect nothing.
then whatever seems so crucially important would become frivolous
at least you have put a command to your mind to ignore the impact of the results
and so the mind will be able to control the heart for as long as it manages to.
of course it is only in the acceptable time and space.
do not let it spread over your whole life since it would sound too pitiful and pathetic
for the things that necessarily stay true have to remain true
whatever nonsense i'm writing
i just want to reassure myself of all the unspeakable anxiety and darkness at the deepest depth my mind can crawl to
a life indeed needs a tangible nail to withhold it from falling off the imaginary depths.
on a much lighter note, my DVD has arrived!!!
as if to save me from the death of the daysssssssssssssss
to the fantasy world of my own haha
French is a beautiful language... to listen to
then whatever seems so crucially important would become frivolous
at least you have put a command to your mind to ignore the impact of the results
and so the mind will be able to control the heart for as long as it manages to.
of course it is only in the acceptable time and space.
do not let it spread over your whole life since it would sound too pitiful and pathetic
for the things that necessarily stay true have to remain true
whatever nonsense i'm writing
i just want to reassure myself of all the unspeakable anxiety and darkness at the deepest depth my mind can crawl to
a life indeed needs a tangible nail to withhold it from falling off the imaginary depths.
on a much lighter note, my DVD has arrived!!!
as if to save me from the death of the daysssssssssssssss
to the fantasy world of my own haha
French is a beautiful language... to listen to
Sunday, 5 June 2011
on the indescribible and inexplicable
maybe at sometime before this life ends, i should try to write some tear-jerked or melodramatic novel based on my life =.='
since sometimes it really sounds like some drama that i myself cant believe it +_+
well whatever
i'm so in the mood to read something 'beautifully destructing' or beautiful and hopeless at the same time
dont blame me for this sudden urge of reading something so extreme
it is just that the life force at some point of time insists me to do so and not otherwise
the sum of this week is that i came to aware of something that i have been trying to fake ignorance of all the other time and that i can no longer ignore such fact
and to come to such conclusion is just pure torture
as if i come to know of the cruelty of reality the n time in my life
and that i'm shamefully pathetic still
wonder if i can really make it back...
since sometimes it really sounds like some drama that i myself cant believe it +_+
well whatever
i'm so in the mood to read something 'beautifully destructing' or beautiful and hopeless at the same time
dont blame me for this sudden urge of reading something so extreme
it is just that the life force at some point of time insists me to do so and not otherwise
the sum of this week is that i came to aware of something that i have been trying to fake ignorance of all the other time and that i can no longer ignore such fact
and to come to such conclusion is just pure torture
as if i come to know of the cruelty of reality the n time in my life
and that i'm shamefully pathetic still
wonder if i can really make it back...
Monday, 16 May 2011
it's your life to live and your heart to lose
well there's nothing much to write
i've been burying myself in a false sense of comfort and serenity, running away from the truth and the long fight ahead in the pursuit of my dream.
well, just like you always know that there is an important deadline amidst the air but you keep procrastinating to write the paper reasoning that there are many documents and primary researches to do in advance
until the time runs out of hand and the paper was not as well-done as expected
i would not let it happen that way to my life
of course no one would want to look back at their life full of regrets that they'd missed a thousands of chances they had had in the pursuit of teh so-called happiness.
happiness is a state of mind.
the less ambitious you are, the simpler you can reach that ideal state of happiness of yours.
but life without an ambitous goal is not one cut out for a Sagittarius
hence... the first things to decide on is to take the Japanese language test just to force myself seriously learning and reviewing Japanese.
i need to keep track of my road and not to be distracted by anything else.
...well today is just an average Monday when some universal facts started to remind me to wake up and run forward
it's enough for this idleness and ignorant.
and things have to stops for others to begin moving.
it is all my life to begin with..
yes just another average monday morning
i've been burying myself in a false sense of comfort and serenity, running away from the truth and the long fight ahead in the pursuit of my dream.
well, just like you always know that there is an important deadline amidst the air but you keep procrastinating to write the paper reasoning that there are many documents and primary researches to do in advance
until the time runs out of hand and the paper was not as well-done as expected
i would not let it happen that way to my life
of course no one would want to look back at their life full of regrets that they'd missed a thousands of chances they had had in the pursuit of teh so-called happiness.
happiness is a state of mind.
the less ambitious you are, the simpler you can reach that ideal state of happiness of yours.
but life without an ambitous goal is not one cut out for a Sagittarius
hence... the first things to decide on is to take the Japanese language test just to force myself seriously learning and reviewing Japanese.
i need to keep track of my road and not to be distracted by anything else.
...well today is just an average Monday when some universal facts started to remind me to wake up and run forward
it's enough for this idleness and ignorant.
and things have to stops for others to begin moving.
it is all my life to begin with..
yes just another average monday morning
Tuesday, 19 April 2011
and the scorching sun is burning away all the colors of hearts
will i be able to leave here for good =.='
the next question is the place of the next destination...
every single time I try to squeeze out an answer for this pondering question, the day grows darker along with my mood =.='
It is always depressing to be fully aware of your position and your situation, of capacity and reality.
... and of the lines and limits
It is shameful that one failed to reach their humble expectation
It is even worse when the energy and enthusiasm for their humble dreams is joining the trend, fading in its vividness and draining in its vigor.
well, it will come to a point when the picture of your once upon a time dream is just a blur mix of color in your memories...
i still fervently and relentlessly refuse to believe that my life would just dully flow about like that
but there is no proof that it is getting better
there is still none
becoming no one, reaching nowhere, and attaining nothing
haiz
let's just assume that today my mood is disastrous
maybe a disastrous ending is of crucial importance for an exciting new beginning
haha
the next question is the place of the next destination...
every single time I try to squeeze out an answer for this pondering question, the day grows darker along with my mood =.='
It is always depressing to be fully aware of your position and your situation, of capacity and reality.
... and of the lines and limits
It is shameful that one failed to reach their humble expectation
It is even worse when the energy and enthusiasm for their humble dreams is joining the trend, fading in its vividness and draining in its vigor.
well, it will come to a point when the picture of your once upon a time dream is just a blur mix of color in your memories...
i still fervently and relentlessly refuse to believe that my life would just dully flow about like that
but there is no proof that it is getting better
there is still none
becoming no one, reaching nowhere, and attaining nothing
haiz
let's just assume that today my mood is disastrous
maybe a disastrous ending is of crucial importance for an exciting new beginning
haha
Tuesday, 1 March 2011
oh dear
these crazily hectic days give me no time to feel settled +_+
and my plan to Japan is nowhere near completion +_+
and i'm still waking upat 3am for breakfast m(_._)m
for all the reasons that are, could have been and will be, i could not stop myself from upsetting over certain matters
greedy and selfish as i am, i wish and demand it all at its absoluteness
yet the fact that it would not manage to be at such troubles me to no end
worse, in such an 'intrinsically wrong' position as of my perception now, i cant help asking myself numerous questions that resulted in one sole answer - to negate and set it void
yes, the decision has been made for all this while, but the implementation is still postponed infinitely
=.='
still decision is made to be implemented after all.
i shall delay it no further.
that is for the best... i hope +_+
sometimes you need to be practical, selfish, heartless and cruel, for life manifests itself in the very same manner
these crazily hectic days give me no time to feel settled +_+
and my plan to Japan is nowhere near completion +_+
and i'm still waking upat 3am for breakfast m(_._)m
for all the reasons that are, could have been and will be, i could not stop myself from upsetting over certain matters
greedy and selfish as i am, i wish and demand it all at its absoluteness
yet the fact that it would not manage to be at such troubles me to no end
worse, in such an 'intrinsically wrong' position as of my perception now, i cant help asking myself numerous questions that resulted in one sole answer - to negate and set it void
yes, the decision has been made for all this while, but the implementation is still postponed infinitely
=.='
still decision is made to be implemented after all.
i shall delay it no further.
that is for the best... i hope +_+
sometimes you need to be practical, selfish, heartless and cruel, for life manifests itself in the very same manner
Wednesday, 23 February 2011
and here i am *_*
face it, my incredibly selfishness
i hate the fact that i'm spending my days annoying by all the impossible nonsense and trivial here, longing for the weekend to come while people out there enjoy themselves on holidays and vacation @_@
aghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh it's utterly irritating! @_@
i hate it while people are in good mood and i'm not
and the fact that there is no exact reason for my furiousness vexed my innate good-nature even more m(_._)m
and somehow it always happened when i'm not in the best condition of welfare (which implies that i'm broke) and thus, prevented my frustration output on shopping @_@
this is to say that people cant be happy if they are not provided with a good material life.. haha or so i believe
oh please dont make me laugh with the 'happiness is a state of mind'
well it does, providing that you dont have to worry about your material life and actually have the privilege of not having to think about how to spend every single cent every single minutes
people, face it, we are only animals after all
and animals' instinct, first, are to survive, physically
ok, after typing down this nonsense materialistic theory of mine, i kind of vent out my frustration =.='
or so i hope lol
anw just wait, i'm gonna go on holidays and travel as well LOL
hohoho my revenge to the world =.=' (ok the choice of word is a bit exaggerating for a description bt whatever haha @_@)
and i decide today i should be hyper and happy instead of moody and emo
Spitz is amazing
it's like i can find a song to suit my mood almost every single day XD
XOXO
歩き出せ、クローバー
歌：スピッツ 作詞：草野正宗 作曲：草野正宗
未知のページ 塗りかえられるストーリー 風に向かい
歩き出せ 若くて青いクローバー 裸足のままで Ah ha ha…
過ぎた恋のイメージに近いマーク 指で描き
流れ出す自由で激しいメロディ 一人きりで
戦闘機よりも あからさまな
君の声 優しいエナジー
歩き出せクローバー 止まらないクローバー
熱い投げキッス 受け止める空 Ha…
泣きながら笑い出し「嬉しい!」と何度も叫び
寝ころがって眺めた 君のカード 胸にあてる
入道雲から 伝えている
そのままで優しいエナジー
だんだん解ってきたのさ
見えない場所で作られた波に
削りとられていく命が
混沌の色に 憧れ完全に違う形で
消えかけた 獣の道を歩いて行く (Wow ah ah ah ah…)
君の声 優しいエナジー
i hate the fact that i'm spending my days annoying by all the impossible nonsense and trivial here, longing for the weekend to come while people out there enjoy themselves on holidays and vacation @_@
aghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh it's utterly irritating! @_@
i hate it while people are in good mood and i'm not
and the fact that there is no exact reason for my furiousness vexed my innate good-nature even more m(_._)m
and somehow it always happened when i'm not in the best condition of welfare (which implies that i'm broke) and thus, prevented my frustration output on shopping @_@
this is to say that people cant be happy if they are not provided with a good material life.. haha or so i believe
oh please dont make me laugh with the 'happiness is a state of mind'
well it does, providing that you dont have to worry about your material life and actually have the privilege of not having to think about how to spend every single cent every single minutes
people, face it, we are only animals after all
and animals' instinct, first, are to survive, physically
ok, after typing down this nonsense materialistic theory of mine, i kind of vent out my frustration =.='
or so i hope lol
anw just wait, i'm gonna go on holidays and travel as well LOL
hohoho my revenge to the world =.=' (ok the choice of word is a bit exaggerating for a description bt whatever haha @_@)
and i decide today i should be hyper and happy instead of moody and emo
Spitz is amazing
it's like i can find a song to suit my mood almost every single day XD
XOXO
歩き出せ、クローバー
歌：スピッツ 作詞：草野正宗 作曲：草野正宗
未知のページ 塗りかえられるストーリー 風に向かい
歩き出せ 若くて青いクローバー 裸足のままで Ah ha ha…
過ぎた恋のイメージに近いマーク 指で描き
流れ出す自由で激しいメロディ 一人きりで
戦闘機よりも あからさまな
君の声 優しいエナジー
歩き出せクローバー 止まらないクローバー
熱い投げキッス 受け止める空 Ha…
泣きながら笑い出し「嬉しい!」と何度も叫び
寝ころがって眺めた 君のカード 胸にあてる
入道雲から 伝えている
そのままで優しいエナジー
だんだん解ってきたのさ
見えない場所で作られた波に
削りとられていく命が
混沌の色に 憧れ完全に違う形で
消えかけた 獣の道を歩いて行く (Wow ah ah ah ah…)
君の声 優しいエナジー
Tuesday, 22 February 2011
Monday, 21 February 2011
random
Spitz is always amazing in conveying a mysterious kind of mixed feelings with there simple words, the figurative meanings of which more than often is infered by the listeners themselves... or maybe it's just me who like to do that
still all the more, such inference adds an irresistible attractiveness to the melody, which for some reason always inevitably brings me to the misty land of nostalgia in an incomprehensible way
maybe their music is made to stir this inseparable melancholy that always sleeps somewhere inside me
like this song i'm listening to, called Sunshine
Sunshine... in its untouchable realm of quietness, yet unavoidable to come and induce changes...
just to let us gazed in wonder of the unknown future to come
and a silent wish to let things remain as it has always been stirred somewhere deep down inside
こまらせたのは君のこと。。。
。。。サンシャイン白い道はどこもでみ続くよ
サンシャイン寒い都会に降りても
変わらず夏の花のままでいて
oh how i love Spitz
life is never as easy and pinkish as it seems
just like Spitz's words is never as simple as it sounds
haha
...
being adults is genuinely exhausting
so it's impossible for me not to desperately refuse to grow into one T_T
still all the more, such inference adds an irresistible attractiveness to the melody, which for some reason always inevitably brings me to the misty land of nostalgia in an incomprehensible way
maybe their music is made to stir this inseparable melancholy that always sleeps somewhere inside me
like this song i'm listening to, called Sunshine
Sunshine... in its untouchable realm of quietness, yet unavoidable to come and induce changes...
just to let us gazed in wonder of the unknown future to come
and a silent wish to let things remain as it has always been stirred somewhere deep down inside
こまらせたのは君のこと。。。
。。。サンシャイン白い道はどこもでみ続くよ
サンシャイン寒い都会に降りても
変わらず夏の花のままでいて
oh how i love Spitz
life is never as easy and pinkish as it seems
just like Spitz's words is never as simple as it sounds
haha
...
being adults is genuinely exhausting
so it's impossible for me not to desperately refuse to grow into one T_T
Monday, 14 February 2011
rotten away in endless irritation
i'm sick of my sleeping habits T_T
these days i found myself waking up either too early or too late for work
both does no good certainly +_+
it doesnt help that my sleep often accompanies by all the weird dreams and nightmares @_@
must've been mentally disturbed by all the nameless irritation and frustration at work and various other personal matters +_+
why am i put under this situation all of a sudden T_T
well not that i hate it but as always, everything suddenly turns opaque and vague at every turn of the road, so one cant help feeling all insecure and suspicious of the road ahead
the inability to commit myself to my plan, namely finish the book and learn Japanese, vexes me all the more T_T
oh can you think you're so great now %*#_@*%
dont even mention abt passion and ideology T_T
yes i'm extremely dissatisfied with myself in all aspects ...
if one cant even win against one's own weakness, what then, is he/she capable of?
looking back at the me at this time one year ago, the biggest different is that only the transition from school to work, with no additional positive progress to whatever goal i've set for myself.
this fact alone is just irretrievably disappointing and agonizing.
these days i found myself waking up either too early or too late for work
both does no good certainly +_+
it doesnt help that my sleep often accompanies by all the weird dreams and nightmares @_@
must've been mentally disturbed by all the nameless irritation and frustration at work and various other personal matters +_+
why am i put under this situation all of a sudden T_T
well not that i hate it but as always, everything suddenly turns opaque and vague at every turn of the road, so one cant help feeling all insecure and suspicious of the road ahead
the inability to commit myself to my plan, namely finish the book and learn Japanese, vexes me all the more T_T
oh can you think you're so great now %*#_@*%
dont even mention abt passion and ideology T_T
yes i'm extremely dissatisfied with myself in all aspects ...
if one cant even win against one's own weakness, what then, is he/she capable of?
looking back at the me at this time one year ago, the biggest different is that only the transition from school to work, with no additional positive progress to whatever goal i've set for myself.
this fact alone is just irretrievably disappointing and agonizing.
Wednesday, 9 February 2011
いったいどんな理想を描いたらいい？ どんな希望を抱き進んだらいい？
HANABI - Mr. CHildren
どれくらいの値打ちがあるだろう？
僕が今生きてるこの世界
すべてが無意味だって思える
ちょっと疲れてんのかな
手に入れたもん引き換えにして
切り捨てた
いくつもの輝き
いちいち憂いでいれるほど
平和な世の中じゃない
いったいどんな理想を描いたらいい？
どんな希望を抱き進んだらいい？
答えようもないその問い掛けは
日常に飲まれて
君がいたらなんて言うかな？
「暗い」と茶化して笑うのかな？
そのやわらかな笑顔に触れて
この憂鬱が吹き飛んだらいいのに
決して捕まえることの出来ない
花火のような光だとしたって
もう一回、もう一回
もう一回、もう一回
僕はこの手を伸ばしたい
誰も皆 悲しみを抱いてる
だけど素敵な明日を願ってる
臆病風に吹かれて
波風が立った世界を
どれだけ愛することができるだろう
考えすぎて言葉に詰まる
自分の不器用さが嫌い
でも妙に器用に振る舞う
自分がそれ以上にキライ
笑っていても泣いて過ごしても
平等に時は流れ
未来が僕らを呼んでいる
その声は今君にも聞こえていますか？
「さよなら」って答えを聞くことを
最初から分かっていたとしたって
もう一回、もう一回
もう一回、もう一回
何度でも君に会いたい
めぐり逢えたことでこんなに
世界が美しく見えるなんて
想像さえもしていない
単純だって笑った
君に心から「ありがとう」を言おう
滞らないように
揺れて流れて
透き通っている水のような心であれたら
会いたくなった時の分まで
寂しくなった時の分だって
もう一回、もう一回
もう一回、もう一回
君を強く焼き付けたい
誰もが問題を抱えている
だけど素敵な明日を願っている
臆病風に吹かれて
波風が立った世界を
どれだけ愛することができるだろう
もう一回、もう一回
With reference from:
http://superwalter.spaces.live.com/blog/cns!ABD6FCB19785FBE!3210.entry
もう一回、もう一回
What value left is there
in this world I live in?
It makes me think that its all meaningless
or maybe I’m just tired?
in exchange for something I got
i gave up a number of precious things
but it’s not such a peaceful world
that I can lament each and every one.
what kind of dreams should I envision?
what kind of hopes should I take with me as I go forward?
these seemingly impossible to answer questions
get buried in my day to day life.
if you were here I wonder what you would say?
you’d probably say I was being “gloomy” and have a laugh.
i just wish i could see your gentle smile to blow away my melancholy.
even if it’s a light like fireworks
that can never be caught
one more time, one more time, one more time, one more time
I want to reach out for it.
we all carry sadness with us
but we hope for a better tomorrow
I wonder to what extent we can love a world
gripped by fear, thrown into unrest?
I get choked up on the words ’cause I think too much
I hate how clumsy I am
Yet oddly enough, I hate more how skillfully I can pretend.
whether we spend the years laughing or crying
time passes the same for all
the future is calling to us
are you, now, hearing it too?
even though we knew from the start
that we’d eventually have to say goodbye
one more time, one more time, one more time, one more time
and as many times as I can I hope to see you again.
I never imagined that simply meeting you
could make the world seem so beautiful
would you laugh at me for being simple minded?
I want to say “thank you” to you from my heart.
I wish my heart flowed fast and smooth like water
so that it would not settle in one place.
for all those times when I need to see you
for those times when I’ll miss you so
one more time, one more time, one more time, one more time
I want to burn your memory deep in me.
we all have our problems
but we hope for a better tomorrow
I wonder to what extent we can love a world
gripped by fear, thrown into unrest?
one more time, one more time,
one more time, one more time…
the lyrics there are all my thoughts now +_+
it'll be a long week ahead and the only thing i want is for weekend to come ...pls T_T
it must be one of those low-morale days again coz i'm extremely reluctant to touch anything at all T_T
from work, to books ... to even the thought of koto performance
会いたくなった時の分まで
寂しくなった時の分だって
もう一回、もう一回
もう一回、もう一回
君を強く焼き付けたい
どれくらいの値打ちがあるだろう？
僕が今生きてるこの世界
すべてが無意味だって思える
ちょっと疲れてんのかな
手に入れたもん引き換えにして
切り捨てた
いくつもの輝き
いちいち憂いでいれるほど
平和な世の中じゃない
いったいどんな理想を描いたらいい？
どんな希望を抱き進んだらいい？
答えようもないその問い掛けは
日常に飲まれて
君がいたらなんて言うかな？
「暗い」と茶化して笑うのかな？
そのやわらかな笑顔に触れて
この憂鬱が吹き飛んだらいいのに
決して捕まえることの出来ない
花火のような光だとしたって
もう一回、もう一回
もう一回、もう一回
僕はこの手を伸ばしたい
誰も皆 悲しみを抱いてる
だけど素敵な明日を願ってる
臆病風に吹かれて
波風が立った世界を
どれだけ愛することができるだろう
考えすぎて言葉に詰まる
自分の不器用さが嫌い
でも妙に器用に振る舞う
自分がそれ以上にキライ
笑っていても泣いて過ごしても
平等に時は流れ
未来が僕らを呼んでいる
その声は今君にも聞こえていますか？
「さよなら」って答えを聞くことを
最初から分かっていたとしたって
もう一回、もう一回
もう一回、もう一回
何度でも君に会いたい
めぐり逢えたことでこんなに
世界が美しく見えるなんて
想像さえもしていない
単純だって笑った
君に心から「ありがとう」を言おう
滞らないように
揺れて流れて
透き通っている水のような心であれたら
会いたくなった時の分まで
寂しくなった時の分だって
もう一回、もう一回
もう一回、もう一回
君を強く焼き付けたい
誰もが問題を抱えている
だけど素敵な明日を願っている
臆病風に吹かれて
波風が立った世界を
どれだけ愛することができるだろう
もう一回、もう一回
With reference from:
http://superwalter.spaces.live.com/blog/cns!ABD6FCB19785FBE!3210.entry
もう一回、もう一回
What value left is there
in this world I live in?
It makes me think that its all meaningless
or maybe I’m just tired?
in exchange for something I got
i gave up a number of precious things
but it’s not such a peaceful world
that I can lament each and every one.
what kind of dreams should I envision?
what kind of hopes should I take with me as I go forward?
these seemingly impossible to answer questions
get buried in my day to day life.
if you were here I wonder what you would say?
you’d probably say I was being “gloomy” and have a laugh.
i just wish i could see your gentle smile to blow away my melancholy.
even if it’s a light like fireworks
that can never be caught
one more time, one more time, one more time, one more time
I want to reach out for it.
we all carry sadness with us
but we hope for a better tomorrow
I wonder to what extent we can love a world
gripped by fear, thrown into unrest?
I get choked up on the words ’cause I think too much
I hate how clumsy I am
Yet oddly enough, I hate more how skillfully I can pretend.
whether we spend the years laughing or crying
time passes the same for all
the future is calling to us
are you, now, hearing it too?
even though we knew from the start
that we’d eventually have to say goodbye
one more time, one more time, one more time, one more time
and as many times as I can I hope to see you again.
I never imagined that simply meeting you
could make the world seem so beautiful
would you laugh at me for being simple minded?
I want to say “thank you” to you from my heart.
I wish my heart flowed fast and smooth like water
so that it would not settle in one place.
for all those times when I need to see you
for those times when I’ll miss you so
one more time, one more time, one more time, one more time
I want to burn your memory deep in me.
we all have our problems
but we hope for a better tomorrow
I wonder to what extent we can love a world
gripped by fear, thrown into unrest?
one more time, one more time,
one more time, one more time…
the lyrics there are all my thoughts now +_+
it'll be a long week ahead and the only thing i want is for weekend to come ...pls T_T
it must be one of those low-morale days again coz i'm extremely reluctant to touch anything at all T_T
from work, to books ... to even the thought of koto performance
会いたくなった時の分まで
寂しくなった時の分だって
もう一回、もう一回
もう一回、もう一回
君を強く焼き付けたい
Monday, 7 February 2011
a fresh start ... i hope :D
oh dear, the holiday feels too short T_T
anw i was home literally only for 2 days (went back to mom's hometown for the other 3 days), so all the more how precarious it was
guess holidays are always fast and pass in no time +_+
and maybe i'm flying here and there too much that it felt a bit restless this time round
if only there were one more week at home =.='
and so i returned last nite to my tiny apartment in Singapore, alone and emo +_+ as always
and the thought of work was especially vexing and tormenting ><
partly coz i'm born lazy and spoiled =.='
partly coz i'm still stuck at the catalog thing and dunno when i can finish it while we are alr in urgent need for the new one T_T
anw just to note down that holidays end and i need to go back and face with normal daily life as a half-grown-up lol =.='
and that i have decided last night on the matter and will not waver my determination any more
the liaison (sounds like in Anna Karenina) needs to end and i'll set to carry this resolution till the end XXD
and we'll enter the phrase of honing our koto's skills after JCN :D
which is definitely good for me +_+
lastly, i'm glad to welcome the year of Cat (or Rabbit in other culture) ^^
i'll be stronger and tougher to any challenges coming my way
yes, grand, passionate and devoted XOXO
anw i was home literally only for 2 days (went back to mom's hometown for the other 3 days), so all the more how precarious it was
guess holidays are always fast and pass in no time +_+
and maybe i'm flying here and there too much that it felt a bit restless this time round
if only there were one more week at home =.='
and so i returned last nite to my tiny apartment in Singapore, alone and emo +_+ as always
and the thought of work was especially vexing and tormenting ><
partly coz i'm born lazy and spoiled =.='
partly coz i'm still stuck at the catalog thing and dunno when i can finish it while we are alr in urgent need for the new one T_T
anw just to note down that holidays end and i need to go back and face with normal daily life as a half-grown-up lol =.='
and that i have decided last night on the matter and will not waver my determination any more
the liaison (sounds like in Anna Karenina) needs to end and i'll set to carry this resolution till the end XXD
and we'll enter the phrase of honing our koto's skills after JCN :D
which is definitely good for me +_+
lastly, i'm glad to welcome the year of Cat (or Rabbit in other culture) ^^
i'll be stronger and tougher to any challenges coming my way
yes, grand, passionate and devoted XOXO
Tuesday, 1 February 2011
home is within the day XOXO
hehe i'm going HOME i'm going HOME for TET XXD
too excited that i woke up at 3am and couldnt really go back to sleep LOL
oh well i still need to spend another 8hrs in office bt it doesnt matter ~
i'm going HOME XXD
let's enjoy my Tet and forget abt all the nonsensical trivial stupid worry for the moment LOL
well it never really troubled me that much in the 1st place XD
koto practice was fun and enthusiastic as usual, just that it was the last practice before the performance @_@ (and i still cant play the 2nd piece very properly ><)
well i could care more thou XXD
the joy of being able to return home is overflowing and i'm too much of a hyper to actually be bothered abt anything at all LOL hehe
which is good indeed
a genuine and proper Tet with my family after 4yrs <3
as for the returning to singapore part, let's think abt it later hehe
and i wont be stupid sacrificing my koto practice and others to go there on my own waiting specifically for sb. nonsense
oh Tet XXD
and i'm going HOME XXD
hahaha
too excited that i woke up at 3am and couldnt really go back to sleep LOL
oh well i still need to spend another 8hrs in office bt it doesnt matter ~
i'm going HOME XXD
let's enjoy my Tet and forget abt all the nonsensical trivial stupid worry for the moment LOL
well it never really troubled me that much in the 1st place XD
koto practice was fun and enthusiastic as usual, just that it was the last practice before the performance @_@ (and i still cant play the 2nd piece very properly ><)
well i could care more thou XXD
the joy of being able to return home is overflowing and i'm too much of a hyper to actually be bothered abt anything at all LOL hehe
which is good indeed
a genuine and proper Tet with my family after 4yrs <3
as for the returning to singapore part, let's think abt it later hehe
and i wont be stupid sacrificing my koto practice and others to go there on my own waiting specifically for sb. nonsense
oh Tet XXD
and i'm going HOME XXD
hahaha
Saturday, 29 January 2011
pattern i could find
it's hard to put into words my feelings after watching 'never let me go'
just by the title of it, i know i's definitely a tragedy, a love tragedy
yet i wanted to watch it so much eventhough i have not touched the novel yet
the movie is definitely beautifully done, with angles and classy color tones that i'm so in love with and with exactly what i perveived as the British taste of movie-making
and the irresitible charm of British accent that never fails to arouse me
the cast makes it complete with my favourite actresses
and certainly the point is the story
what intrigues me is the juxtapose between the short span of living time of children in the book and a normal human's life
the so peaceful-and-carefree-looking life of them and our mundane,busy, casual and chaotic world
their sole simple yet unbearable task
and their powerlessness over the life they had to lead
but what strucks me hardest is probably their excruciating pain upon awaring their complete and absolute confinement of the life they had to live through
no escape
no hope
no dream
not even time
..............
a wish of love that is far beyond reach, rendered total imposibility
like a deep wound being tortured over and over again
until the bearer is no longer able to withstand it and wither away in the blackish pool of despair
...
and somehow it seems astonishingly real and concrete to me
the awareness of an impossible wish
as i wonder how i'm going to live this lie.
human, creatures of weaknesses
just by the title of it, i know i's definitely a tragedy, a love tragedy
yet i wanted to watch it so much eventhough i have not touched the novel yet
the movie is definitely beautifully done, with angles and classy color tones that i'm so in love with and with exactly what i perveived as the British taste of movie-making
and the irresitible charm of British accent that never fails to arouse me
the cast makes it complete with my favourite actresses
and certainly the point is the story
what intrigues me is the juxtapose between the short span of living time of children in the book and a normal human's life
the so peaceful-and-carefree-looking life of them and our mundane,busy, casual and chaotic world
their sole simple yet unbearable task
and their powerlessness over the life they had to lead
but what strucks me hardest is probably their excruciating pain upon awaring their complete and absolute confinement of the life they had to live through
no escape
no hope
no dream
not even time
..............
a wish of love that is far beyond reach, rendered total imposibility
like a deep wound being tortured over and over again
until the bearer is no longer able to withstand it and wither away in the blackish pool of despair
...
and somehow it seems astonishingly real and concrete to me
the awareness of an impossible wish
as i wonder how i'm going to live this lie.
human, creatures of weaknesses
Thursday, 27 January 2011
few days from Tet
T_T the arashi DVD that i'm supposed to receive yesterday did not reach me in the end T_T
and now i need to come down to collect it >< ... and with my working hour, how am I supposed to do that?! urghhhhhhh T_T
and MU and mediafire keeps messing up my downloading +_+
sigh
i've been lagging behind downloading arashi's shows +_+
and other dorama :(((
this is such a tragedy for a devoted fan girl dont u think +_+
~~~~~~~~
on second note, it's a few days away from home XXD YAY !!!
it's my 1st time after 4yrs w/o Tet at home :D
and the current apartment's gonna be cleaner and tidier than its current condition hehe :D
and hopefully i'll get my watch (supposed to be my mom's birthday present) repaired before going back :)
~~~~~~~~
well for all, let's enjoy the 'now' first =.='
and face all the troubles and worries later -___-
my new year resolution is and always will be : be happy and follow your dream =.=
so it's gonna be abt Japan, JApan, JAPan, JAPAn and JAPAN :*
LOL
the song is so reminiscent of my high school time haha
sweet :*
and now i need to come down to collect it >< ... and with my working hour, how am I supposed to do that?! urghhhhhhh T_T
and MU and mediafire keeps messing up my downloading +_+
sigh
i've been lagging behind downloading arashi's shows +_+
and other dorama :(((
this is such a tragedy for a devoted fan girl dont u think +_+
~~~~~~~~
on second note, it's a few days away from home XXD YAY !!!
it's my 1st time after 4yrs w/o Tet at home :D
and the current apartment's gonna be cleaner and tidier than its current condition hehe :D
and hopefully i'll get my watch (supposed to be my mom's birthday present) repaired before going back :)
~~~~~~~~
well for all, let's enjoy the 'now' first =.='
and face all the troubles and worries later -___-
my new year resolution is and always will be : be happy and follow your dream =.=
so it's gonna be abt Japan, JApan, JAPan, JAPAn and JAPAN :*
LOL
the song is so reminiscent of my high school time haha
sweet :*
Tuesday, 25 January 2011
wake up at 3am +_+
yes i woke up at 3.30 am or so and now am dead tired
i need some sleep and the world might be brighter than it seems now haha =.='
well at the very least, it does not feel as bad as usual since i dont have shoulder + back pain +_+
yes, aging and in a few more years, i'll become an obachan unable to enjoy life due to exhaustion and lack of vitality T_T
noooooooooooooooo
--------------
i've gone back dreaming, so you must lead me through the day ...
yeah how i hate this state of dreaming of mine in which nothing is clear and defined
...or worse too ambiguous for my own good
and no one leads me to a 'right' answer
days are passing by with the same unresolved and unanswered question
even if i tried to force an answer out of it, it just remains illogical an incomprehensible
yes, it's hard to define and categorize everything clearly; that, i know all so well
but at the very least, there should be a satisfied answer since it is jsut a personal problem, surfacing at individual level.
yet, i cant in anyway possible opt a reasonable solution
and this inherent impulsiveness in me does not allow me to ...either
it's getting no where and it frustrates me to the highest level possible
again i told myself i should just leave and flee
that's it
rite =.='
well i want to go to the sea and free my useless thoughts h
vacation ~~~~
i need some sleep and the world might be brighter than it seems now haha =.='
well at the very least, it does not feel as bad as usual since i dont have shoulder + back pain +_+
yes, aging and in a few more years, i'll become an obachan unable to enjoy life due to exhaustion and lack of vitality T_T
noooooooooooooooo
--------------
i've gone back dreaming, so you must lead me through the day ...
yeah how i hate this state of dreaming of mine in which nothing is clear and defined
...or worse too ambiguous for my own good
and no one leads me to a 'right' answer
days are passing by with the same unresolved and unanswered question
even if i tried to force an answer out of it, it just remains illogical an incomprehensible
yes, it's hard to define and categorize everything clearly; that, i know all so well
but at the very least, there should be a satisfied answer since it is jsut a personal problem, surfacing at individual level.
yet, i cant in anyway possible opt a reasonable solution
and this inherent impulsiveness in me does not allow me to ...either
it's getting no where and it frustrates me to the highest level possible
again i told myself i should just leave and flee
that's it
rite =.='
well i want to go to the sea and free my useless thoughts h
vacation ~~~~
Wednesday, 19 January 2011
horoscope here and there
The Tiger
Magnetic, passionate and grand! When the Tiger does anything, it’s noticed! Indecisiveness and stubbornness can mar the sparkle of the Tiger personality. On the one hand generous, on the other hand a little mean, it’s sometimes hard to know where one stands with the Tiger. Flexible, honest and truly entertaining, one has a friend for life with a Tiger.
Forecast for 2011 Most Tigers will be feeling quite pleased and energized at the end of their own year in 2010. The Year of the Rabbit will be another positive year for them. Romantic matters are particularly to the forefront, with many born under this sign deciding to get married or to take the relationship to the next level. Single Tigers will have many chances to meet a partner with June to September particularly well aspected. If they have faced recent personal trials and tribulations, 2011 will prove to be a much brighter year. Financially, the Tiger will most likely see an increase in income, either due to a pay rise or an unexpected windfall. With careful planning and budgeting, they can enjoy this monetary increase whilst easing financial burdens. Hobbies and outdoor pursuits will also interest the Tiger this year and will provide relaxation and a social setting, both of which will suit him just fine. Travel and spending holidays with friends will be a focus during late spring and also August and September. If there is a dream location he’s always wanted to visit, this is the perfect year to do so! A house purchase or change of home could very well feature on the cards also. This will be an exciting rather than overly stressful development and Tigers should thrive in their new environment.
Interesting Tiger Facts:
Zodiac Stone: Sapphire
Special Flower: Violet
Best Hours: 3-5 am
Season: Winter
Horoscope Colors: Green, Blue, Yellow
Oh how i love the phrase magnitude, passionate and grand =.='
LOL at my superficialness :">
hope that 2011 is a better yea ... oh well let's try my best XXD
it's genuinely inspired and excited listening to this :* <3
oh dear COLD Play sweet heart ~~~ hahaha
Tuesday, 18 January 2011
on new apartment and miscellousnes
start the day by dropping my new watch onto the floor, which resulted in the visible crack on the surface ;_;
ok life in the new apartment somehow starts
need to admit that it's a bit scary walking alone early in the morning to work :|
even though it's not that deserted...still i was born w a chicken heart ...so :|
and the rain yesterday totally drenched all my laundry T_T
and i want a fridge
apart from that, everything is pretty fine
well needs to say the area is boring thou
maybe that's why it's cheaper haha
and the Internet is doing well so far :)
i'm still too lazy to start on the design project that was assigned to me due to the fact that everyone else is busy :|
(like i'm the only one who is free 3:-o for god's shake 8-)
and i want to finish Anna Karenina asap so that i can start on other new books :)
on a darker note
the thought about certain matter still haunts me and makes me despise both myself and a certain someone else so much
well it's unfair i'm the only one who have to think abt all of this crap and feel guilty and ashamed of it
well, blame my foolishness
still it's absolutely unfair and unreasonable for me to suffer alone
so i should just leave it and get over it soon
i'm always fine on my own and there's no reason i have to forfeit my free spirit for it at all
it's not worth my time, my care and my thoughts anw
from the beginning, there's no 'us', and there will never be.
so be it, it is I and me, all along.
ok life in the new apartment somehow starts
need to admit that it's a bit scary walking alone early in the morning to work :|
even though it's not that deserted...still i was born w a chicken heart ...so :|
and the rain yesterday totally drenched all my laundry T_T
and i want a fridge
apart from that, everything is pretty fine
well needs to say the area is boring thou
maybe that's why it's cheaper haha
and the Internet is doing well so far :)
i'm still too lazy to start on the design project that was assigned to me due to the fact that everyone else is busy :|
(like i'm the only one who is free 3:-o for god's shake 8-)
and i want to finish Anna Karenina asap so that i can start on other new books :)
on a darker note
the thought about certain matter still haunts me and makes me despise both myself and a certain someone else so much
well it's unfair i'm the only one who have to think abt all of this crap and feel guilty and ashamed of it
well, blame my foolishness
still it's absolutely unfair and unreasonable for me to suffer alone
so i should just leave it and get over it soon
i'm always fine on my own and there's no reason i have to forfeit my free spirit for it at all
it's not worth my time, my care and my thoughts anw
from the beginning, there's no 'us', and there will never be.
so be it, it is I and me, all along.
Thursday, 6 January 2011
in all kind of fortune-telling, i'm over-optimistic, love freedom and hate commitment ... :|
just need to note down that it's unimaginable to think of wtf i'd got myself into =.='
oh the earth is still spinning so that should not be so such a crisis?
arghhhhh it's jst frustrating when you cant tell yourself into doing what you're supposed to do T_T
it needs a full stop
and i want to settle down on the new apartment asap +_+
then this stupid temptation will be over
urghhhhhh
sigh
hoping for a brighter yr coming ~
oh the earth is still spinning so that should not be so such a crisis?
arghhhhh it's jst frustrating when you cant tell yourself into doing what you're supposed to do T_T
it needs a full stop
and i want to settle down on the new apartment asap +_+
then this stupid temptation will be over
urghhhhhh
sigh
hoping for a brighter yr coming ~
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