face it, my incredibly selfishness
i hate the fact that i'm spending my days annoying by all the impossible nonsense and trivial here, longing for the weekend to come while people out there enjoy themselves on holidays and vacation @_@
aghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh it's utterly irritating! @_@
i hate it while people are in good mood and i'm not
and the fact that there is no exact reason for my furiousness vexed my innate good-nature even more m(_._)m
and somehow it always happened when i'm not in the best condition of welfare (which implies that i'm broke) and thus, prevented my frustration output on shopping @_@
this is to say that people cant be happy if they are not provided with a good material life.. haha or so i believe
oh please dont make me laugh with the 'happiness is a state of mind'
well it does, providing that you dont have to worry about your material life and actually have the privilege of not having to think about how to spend every single cent every single minutes
people, face it, we are only animals after all
and animals' instinct, first, are to survive, physically
ok, after typing down this nonsense materialistic theory of mine, i kind of vent out my frustration =.='
or so i hope lol
anw just wait, i'm gonna go on holidays and travel as well LOL
hohoho my revenge to the world =.=' (ok the choice of word is a bit exaggerating for a description bt whatever haha @_@)
and i decide today i should be hyper and happy instead of moody and emo
Spitz is amazing
it's like i can find a song to suit my mood almost every single day XD
XOXO
歩き出せ、クローバー
歌：スピッツ 作詞：草野正宗 作曲：草野正宗
未知のページ 塗りかえられるストーリー 風に向かい
歩き出せ 若くて青いクローバー 裸足のままで Ah ha ha…
過ぎた恋のイメージに近いマーク 指で描き
流れ出す自由で激しいメロディ 一人きりで
戦闘機よりも あからさまな
君の声 優しいエナジー
歩き出せクローバー 止まらないクローバー
熱い投げキッス 受け止める空 Ha…
泣きながら笑い出し「嬉しい!」と何度も叫び
寝ころがって眺めた 君のカード 胸にあてる
入道雲から 伝えている
そのままで優しいエナジー
だんだん解ってきたのさ
見えない場所で作られた波に
削りとられていく命が
混沌の色に 憧れ完全に違う形で
消えかけた 獣の道を歩いて行く (Wow ah ah ah ah…)
君の声 優しいエナジー
Wednesday, 23 February 2011
Tuesday, 22 February 2011
Monday, 21 February 2011
random
Spitz is always amazing in conveying a mysterious kind of mixed feelings with there simple words, the figurative meanings of which more than often is infered by the listeners themselves... or maybe it's just me who like to do that
still all the more, such inference adds an irresistible attractiveness to the melody, which for some reason always inevitably brings me to the misty land of nostalgia in an incomprehensible way
maybe their music is made to stir this inseparable melancholy that always sleeps somewhere inside me
like this song i'm listening to, called Sunshine
Sunshine... in its untouchable realm of quietness, yet unavoidable to come and induce changes...
just to let us gazed in wonder of the unknown future to come
and a silent wish to let things remain as it has always been stirred somewhere deep down inside
こまらせたのは君のこと。。。
。。。サンシャイン白い道はどこもでみ続くよ
サンシャイン寒い都会に降りても
変わらず夏の花のままでいて
oh how i love Spitz
life is never as easy and pinkish as it seems
just like Spitz's words is never as simple as it sounds
haha
...
being adults is genuinely exhausting
so it's impossible for me not to desperately refuse to grow into one T_T
still all the more, such inference adds an irresistible attractiveness to the melody, which for some reason always inevitably brings me to the misty land of nostalgia in an incomprehensible way
maybe their music is made to stir this inseparable melancholy that always sleeps somewhere inside me
like this song i'm listening to, called Sunshine
Sunshine... in its untouchable realm of quietness, yet unavoidable to come and induce changes...
just to let us gazed in wonder of the unknown future to come
and a silent wish to let things remain as it has always been stirred somewhere deep down inside
こまらせたのは君のこと。。。
。。。サンシャイン白い道はどこもでみ続くよ
サンシャイン寒い都会に降りても
変わらず夏の花のままでいて
oh how i love Spitz
life is never as easy and pinkish as it seems
just like Spitz's words is never as simple as it sounds
haha
...
being adults is genuinely exhausting
so it's impossible for me not to desperately refuse to grow into one T_T
Monday, 14 February 2011
rotten away in endless irritation
i'm sick of my sleeping habits T_T
these days i found myself waking up either too early or too late for work
both does no good certainly +_+
it doesnt help that my sleep often accompanies by all the weird dreams and nightmares @_@
must've been mentally disturbed by all the nameless irritation and frustration at work and various other personal matters +_+
why am i put under this situation all of a sudden T_T
well not that i hate it but as always, everything suddenly turns opaque and vague at every turn of the road, so one cant help feeling all insecure and suspicious of the road ahead
the inability to commit myself to my plan, namely finish the book and learn Japanese, vexes me all the more T_T
oh can you think you're so great now %*#_@*%
dont even mention abt passion and ideology T_T
yes i'm extremely dissatisfied with myself in all aspects ...
if one cant even win against one's own weakness, what then, is he/she capable of?
looking back at the me at this time one year ago, the biggest different is that only the transition from school to work, with no additional positive progress to whatever goal i've set for myself.
this fact alone is just irretrievably disappointing and agonizing.
these days i found myself waking up either too early or too late for work
both does no good certainly +_+
it doesnt help that my sleep often accompanies by all the weird dreams and nightmares @_@
must've been mentally disturbed by all the nameless irritation and frustration at work and various other personal matters +_+
why am i put under this situation all of a sudden T_T
well not that i hate it but as always, everything suddenly turns opaque and vague at every turn of the road, so one cant help feeling all insecure and suspicious of the road ahead
the inability to commit myself to my plan, namely finish the book and learn Japanese, vexes me all the more T_T
oh can you think you're so great now %*#_@*%
dont even mention abt passion and ideology T_T
yes i'm extremely dissatisfied with myself in all aspects ...
if one cant even win against one's own weakness, what then, is he/she capable of?
looking back at the me at this time one year ago, the biggest different is that only the transition from school to work, with no additional positive progress to whatever goal i've set for myself.
this fact alone is just irretrievably disappointing and agonizing.
Wednesday, 9 February 2011
いったいどんな理想を描いたらいい？ どんな希望を抱き進んだらいい？
HANABI - Mr. CHildren
どれくらいの値打ちがあるだろう？
僕が今生きてるこの世界
すべてが無意味だって思える
ちょっと疲れてんのかな
手に入れたもん引き換えにして
切り捨てた
いくつもの輝き
いちいち憂いでいれるほど
平和な世の中じゃない
いったいどんな理想を描いたらいい？
どんな希望を抱き進んだらいい？
答えようもないその問い掛けは
日常に飲まれて
君がいたらなんて言うかな？
「暗い」と茶化して笑うのかな？
そのやわらかな笑顔に触れて
この憂鬱が吹き飛んだらいいのに
決して捕まえることの出来ない
花火のような光だとしたって
もう一回、もう一回
もう一回、もう一回
僕はこの手を伸ばしたい
誰も皆 悲しみを抱いてる
だけど素敵な明日を願ってる
臆病風に吹かれて
波風が立った世界を
どれだけ愛することができるだろう
考えすぎて言葉に詰まる
自分の不器用さが嫌い
でも妙に器用に振る舞う
自分がそれ以上にキライ
笑っていても泣いて過ごしても
平等に時は流れ
未来が僕らを呼んでいる
その声は今君にも聞こえていますか？
「さよなら」って答えを聞くことを
最初から分かっていたとしたって
もう一回、もう一回
もう一回、もう一回
何度でも君に会いたい
めぐり逢えたことでこんなに
世界が美しく見えるなんて
想像さえもしていない
単純だって笑った
君に心から「ありがとう」を言おう
滞らないように
揺れて流れて
透き通っている水のような心であれたら
会いたくなった時の分まで
寂しくなった時の分だって
もう一回、もう一回
もう一回、もう一回
君を強く焼き付けたい
誰もが問題を抱えている
だけど素敵な明日を願っている
臆病風に吹かれて
波風が立った世界を
どれだけ愛することができるだろう
もう一回、もう一回
With reference from:
http://superwalter.spaces.live.com/blog/cns!ABD6FCB19785FBE!3210.entry
もう一回、もう一回
What value left is there
in this world I live in?
It makes me think that its all meaningless
or maybe I’m just tired?
in exchange for something I got
i gave up a number of precious things
but it’s not such a peaceful world
that I can lament each and every one.
what kind of dreams should I envision?
what kind of hopes should I take with me as I go forward?
these seemingly impossible to answer questions
get buried in my day to day life.
if you were here I wonder what you would say?
you’d probably say I was being “gloomy” and have a laugh.
i just wish i could see your gentle smile to blow away my melancholy.
even if it’s a light like fireworks
that can never be caught
one more time, one more time, one more time, one more time
I want to reach out for it.
we all carry sadness with us
but we hope for a better tomorrow
I wonder to what extent we can love a world
gripped by fear, thrown into unrest?
I get choked up on the words ’cause I think too much
I hate how clumsy I am
Yet oddly enough, I hate more how skillfully I can pretend.
whether we spend the years laughing or crying
time passes the same for all
the future is calling to us
are you, now, hearing it too?
even though we knew from the start
that we’d eventually have to say goodbye
one more time, one more time, one more time, one more time
and as many times as I can I hope to see you again.
I never imagined that simply meeting you
could make the world seem so beautiful
would you laugh at me for being simple minded?
I want to say “thank you” to you from my heart.
I wish my heart flowed fast and smooth like water
so that it would not settle in one place.
for all those times when I need to see you
for those times when I’ll miss you so
one more time, one more time, one more time, one more time
I want to burn your memory deep in me.
we all have our problems
but we hope for a better tomorrow
I wonder to what extent we can love a world
gripped by fear, thrown into unrest?
one more time, one more time,
one more time, one more time…
the lyrics there are all my thoughts now +_+
it'll be a long week ahead and the only thing i want is for weekend to come ...pls T_T
it must be one of those low-morale days again coz i'm extremely reluctant to touch anything at all T_T
from work, to books ... to even the thought of koto performance
会いたくなった時の分まで
寂しくなった時の分だって
もう一回、もう一回
もう一回、もう一回
君を強く焼き付けたい
どれくらいの値打ちがあるだろう？
僕が今生きてるこの世界
すべてが無意味だって思える
ちょっと疲れてんのかな
手に入れたもん引き換えにして
切り捨てた
いくつもの輝き
いちいち憂いでいれるほど
平和な世の中じゃない
いったいどんな理想を描いたらいい？
どんな希望を抱き進んだらいい？
答えようもないその問い掛けは
日常に飲まれて
君がいたらなんて言うかな？
「暗い」と茶化して笑うのかな？
そのやわらかな笑顔に触れて
この憂鬱が吹き飛んだらいいのに
決して捕まえることの出来ない
花火のような光だとしたって
もう一回、もう一回
もう一回、もう一回
僕はこの手を伸ばしたい
誰も皆 悲しみを抱いてる
だけど素敵な明日を願ってる
臆病風に吹かれて
波風が立った世界を
どれだけ愛することができるだろう
考えすぎて言葉に詰まる
自分の不器用さが嫌い
でも妙に器用に振る舞う
自分がそれ以上にキライ
笑っていても泣いて過ごしても
平等に時は流れ
未来が僕らを呼んでいる
その声は今君にも聞こえていますか？
「さよなら」って答えを聞くことを
最初から分かっていたとしたって
もう一回、もう一回
もう一回、もう一回
何度でも君に会いたい
めぐり逢えたことでこんなに
世界が美しく見えるなんて
想像さえもしていない
単純だって笑った
君に心から「ありがとう」を言おう
滞らないように
揺れて流れて
透き通っている水のような心であれたら
会いたくなった時の分まで
寂しくなった時の分だって
もう一回、もう一回
もう一回、もう一回
君を強く焼き付けたい
誰もが問題を抱えている
だけど素敵な明日を願っている
臆病風に吹かれて
波風が立った世界を
どれだけ愛することができるだろう
もう一回、もう一回
With reference from:
http://superwalter.spaces.live.com/blog/cns!ABD6FCB19785FBE!3210.entry
もう一回、もう一回
What value left is there
in this world I live in?
It makes me think that its all meaningless
or maybe I’m just tired?
in exchange for something I got
i gave up a number of precious things
but it’s not such a peaceful world
that I can lament each and every one.
what kind of dreams should I envision?
what kind of hopes should I take with me as I go forward?
these seemingly impossible to answer questions
get buried in my day to day life.
if you were here I wonder what you would say?
you’d probably say I was being “gloomy” and have a laugh.
i just wish i could see your gentle smile to blow away my melancholy.
even if it’s a light like fireworks
that can never be caught
one more time, one more time, one more time, one more time
I want to reach out for it.
we all carry sadness with us
but we hope for a better tomorrow
I wonder to what extent we can love a world
gripped by fear, thrown into unrest?
I get choked up on the words ’cause I think too much
I hate how clumsy I am
Yet oddly enough, I hate more how skillfully I can pretend.
whether we spend the years laughing or crying
time passes the same for all
the future is calling to us
are you, now, hearing it too?
even though we knew from the start
that we’d eventually have to say goodbye
one more time, one more time, one more time, one more time
and as many times as I can I hope to see you again.
I never imagined that simply meeting you
could make the world seem so beautiful
would you laugh at me for being simple minded?
I want to say “thank you” to you from my heart.
I wish my heart flowed fast and smooth like water
so that it would not settle in one place.
for all those times when I need to see you
for those times when I’ll miss you so
one more time, one more time, one more time, one more time
I want to burn your memory deep in me.
we all have our problems
but we hope for a better tomorrow
I wonder to what extent we can love a world
gripped by fear, thrown into unrest?
one more time, one more time,
one more time, one more time…
the lyrics there are all my thoughts now +_+
it'll be a long week ahead and the only thing i want is for weekend to come ...pls T_T
it must be one of those low-morale days again coz i'm extremely reluctant to touch anything at all T_T
from work, to books ... to even the thought of koto performance
会いたくなった時の分まで
寂しくなった時の分だって
もう一回、もう一回
もう一回、もう一回
君を強く焼き付けたい
Monday, 7 February 2011
a fresh start ... i hope :D
oh dear, the holiday feels too short T_T
anw i was home literally only for 2 days (went back to mom's hometown for the other 3 days), so all the more how precarious it was
guess holidays are always fast and pass in no time +_+
and maybe i'm flying here and there too much that it felt a bit restless this time round
if only there were one more week at home =.='
and so i returned last nite to my tiny apartment in Singapore, alone and emo +_+ as always
and the thought of work was especially vexing and tormenting ><
partly coz i'm born lazy and spoiled =.='
partly coz i'm still stuck at the catalog thing and dunno when i can finish it while we are alr in urgent need for the new one T_T
anw just to note down that holidays end and i need to go back and face with normal daily life as a half-grown-up lol =.='
and that i have decided last night on the matter and will not waver my determination any more
the liaison (sounds like in Anna Karenina) needs to end and i'll set to carry this resolution till the end XXD
and we'll enter the phrase of honing our koto's skills after JCN :D
which is definitely good for me +_+
lastly, i'm glad to welcome the year of Cat (or Rabbit in other culture) ^^
i'll be stronger and tougher to any challenges coming my way
yes, grand, passionate and devoted XOXO
anw i was home literally only for 2 days (went back to mom's hometown for the other 3 days), so all the more how precarious it was
guess holidays are always fast and pass in no time +_+
and maybe i'm flying here and there too much that it felt a bit restless this time round
if only there were one more week at home =.='
and so i returned last nite to my tiny apartment in Singapore, alone and emo +_+ as always
and the thought of work was especially vexing and tormenting ><
partly coz i'm born lazy and spoiled =.='
partly coz i'm still stuck at the catalog thing and dunno when i can finish it while we are alr in urgent need for the new one T_T
anw just to note down that holidays end and i need to go back and face with normal daily life as a half-grown-up lol =.='
and that i have decided last night on the matter and will not waver my determination any more
the liaison (sounds like in Anna Karenina) needs to end and i'll set to carry this resolution till the end XXD
and we'll enter the phrase of honing our koto's skills after JCN :D
which is definitely good for me +_+
lastly, i'm glad to welcome the year of Cat (or Rabbit in other culture) ^^
i'll be stronger and tougher to any challenges coming my way
yes, grand, passionate and devoted XOXO
Tuesday, 1 February 2011
home is within the day XOXO
hehe i'm going HOME i'm going HOME for TET XXD
too excited that i woke up at 3am and couldnt really go back to sleep LOL
oh well i still need to spend another 8hrs in office bt it doesnt matter ~
i'm going HOME XXD
let's enjoy my Tet and forget abt all the nonsensical trivial stupid worry for the moment LOL
well it never really troubled me that much in the 1st place XD
koto practice was fun and enthusiastic as usual, just that it was the last practice before the performance @_@ (and i still cant play the 2nd piece very properly ><)
well i could care more thou XXD
the joy of being able to return home is overflowing and i'm too much of a hyper to actually be bothered abt anything at all LOL hehe
which is good indeed
a genuine and proper Tet with my family after 4yrs <3
as for the returning to singapore part, let's think abt it later hehe
and i wont be stupid sacrificing my koto practice and others to go there on my own waiting specifically for sb. nonsense
oh Tet XXD
and i'm going HOME XXD
hahaha
too excited that i woke up at 3am and couldnt really go back to sleep LOL
oh well i still need to spend another 8hrs in office bt it doesnt matter ~
i'm going HOME XXD
let's enjoy my Tet and forget abt all the nonsensical trivial stupid worry for the moment LOL
well it never really troubled me that much in the 1st place XD
koto practice was fun and enthusiastic as usual, just that it was the last practice before the performance @_@ (and i still cant play the 2nd piece very properly ><)
well i could care more thou XXD
the joy of being able to return home is overflowing and i'm too much of a hyper to actually be bothered abt anything at all LOL hehe
which is good indeed
a genuine and proper Tet with my family after 4yrs <3
as for the returning to singapore part, let's think abt it later hehe
and i wont be stupid sacrificing my koto practice and others to go there on my own waiting specifically for sb. nonsense
oh Tet XXD
and i'm going HOME XXD
hahaha
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