oh dear

these crazily hectic days give me no time to feel settled +_+
and my plan to Japan is nowhere near completion +_+
and i'm still waking upat 3am for breakfast m(_._)m

for all the reasons that are, could have been and will be, i could not stop myself from upsetting over certain matters

greedy and selfish as i am, i wish and demand it all at its absoluteness
yet the fact that it would not manage to be at such troubles me to no end

worse, in such an 'intrinsically wrong' position as of my perception now, i cant help asking myself numerous questions that resulted in one sole answer - to negate and set it void

yes, the decision has been made for all this while, but the implementation is still postponed infinitely

=.='

still decision is made to be implemented after all.
i shall delay it no further.
that is for the best... i hope +_+

sometimes you need to be practical, selfish, heartless and cruel, for life manifests itself in the very same manner