On Yellow by Coldplay

On any granted random day, Yellow never fails to lift my mood and turn me back to the dreamy invicible sagittarius I am

just as the bright and cheerful image the shade of the yellow color represents

That just speaks the profound and overwhelming effect it enacts on me as if one was drug and drunk on each word

my first exposure to it was my high school time

being a typical high schooler, I was drawn to the upbeating attracting melody and the sweet romantic vision of the starry night sky the verse reproduces 

and that was it

but gradually along with time, i came to be fascinated by the association of the exuberant, bold and loud yellow in contrast to the calm, quiet, solitary night sky
i kept pondering on the wholesome and complete image yellow exudes
somehow all the elements seem just fall into its place

something sound, something innocent, something impeccable, something absolute, something intense, something irresistible, something could not be more appropriate and rightful.. for love 

then, it is how "for you I bleed myself dry"was chosen to articulate the devotion

it is not anywhere near those cheesy short-lived romance

but a much more engaging, compelling, dramatic and gravitational love

one demands of utmost effort, unquestionable will, unwavering courage, infinite devotion in the face of the most agonizing suffering it could get... 

one diffused by some kind of alluringly irresistible toxicant

as much as the wholeness of yellow
it seeks the utmost unconditional and altruistic sacrifice one can give
and to be worded by the bodily words constructing human like skin, bones and bleed

it gets as physical as love should be
and i love that idea too,
as love indeed calls for a deep physical bond just as much as the emotional and spiritual tie it demands  

and it is, by all means, not the common idea of dying for love and such...
I mean dying is a much more easier option one can pick. it ends in a flash and the pain vanishes as fast as it it inflicts. plus, it sounds plain, commercial and shallow as the notion might get in cheap romance movies

but here, bleeding... a much prolonged anguished and painful process
one would cringe at the thought of it
one only voluntarily lets themself destroyed if they genuinely are to give their love their all, and not in a coward manner of just ending the suffering but by letting themselves being corroded and withered in the act of dedication 

that should be how destructive and hypnotic a force love could turn out to be

deep and enthralling
poignant and haunting

falling with the most destructible force of a fall

engaging in the most absolute attention of an engagement

loving with the most compelling of devotion and sacrification

and i read about how Yellow was chosen as the title

that Coldplay couldnt replace it with any other word more suitable once they come acros yellow

and that it does not has much connection with the intention of the song except for it represents a bright and promising future for the group as a debut song

... see, that is again how love should work

as if 2 unknown strangers approaching each other only to find that they are just meant to be together 

and that they are such a complete and perfect match that once matched, becomes impossible for any replacement to remain intact with the exact identical atmosphere, idea, sense and feel it has already conjured up in the act of abiding and evading each entity
like the idea of one can only be complete with another person 

yeah, maybe i am romanticizing the whole idea of love again

but why not ;)

it is fine romanticizing something ought-to-be-romantic in nature right 

... well, that is how Yellow grows on me during all this time

with my infatuation in its idea of love and absoluteness

dont you find it amazing now after my ranting :D

and somehow as the flow, i just feel like ending this note by the quote from Celine in Before Sunrise again

I always feel this pressure of being a strong and independent icon of womanhood, and without making it look my whole life is revolving around some guy. But loving someone, and being loved means so much to me. We always make fun of it and stuff. But isn't everything we do in life a way to be loved a little more?

 yup, absolutely 

Keira Knightley "Lost Stars" - On beginning anew & recent obsession

Please don't see just a girl caught up in dreams and fantasies
Please see me reaching out for someone I can't see
Take my hand let's see where we wake up tomorrow
Best laid plans sometimes are just a one night stand
I'd be damned Cupid's demanding back his arrow
So let's get drunk on our tears and

God, tell us the reason youth is wasted on the young
It's hunting season and the lambs are on the run
Searching for meaning
But are we all lost stars, trying to light up the dark?

Who are we? Just a speck of dust within the galaxy?
Woe is me, if we're not careful turns into reality
Don't you dare let our best memories bring you sorrow
Yesterday I saw a lion kiss a deer
Turn the page maybe we'll find a brand new ending
Where we're dancing in our tears and

God, tell us the reason youth is wasted on the young
It's hunting season and the lambs are on the run
Searching for meaning
But are we all lost stars, trying to light up the dark?

I thought I saw you out there crying
I thought I heard you call my name
I thought I heard you out there crying
Just the same

God, give us the reason youth is wasted on the young
It's hunting season and this lamb is on the run
Searching for meaning
But are we all lost stars, trying to light up the dark?

I thought I saw you out there crying
I thought I heard you call my name
I thought I heard you out there crying

But are we all lost stars, trying to light up the dark?
But are we all lost stars, trying to light up the dark?

Read more: Adam Levine - Lost Stars Lyrics | MetroLyrics 



So I've just watched Begin Again and fell in love with this song instantly

facing the 1st mid-life crisis at the junction to choose between going forth settling down or heading on alone

having nothing to loose aint I ? so what is it that makes me hesitate?

would this gentle yet savage ocean of feelings inside me drown one out?



again, I've got to quote this from Before sunrise

I believe if there's any kind of God, it wouldn't be in any of us, not you or me but just this little space in between. If there's any kind of magic in this world, it must be in the attempt of understanding someone, sharing something. I know, it's almost impossible to succeed but who cares really? The answer must be in the attempt

It indeed is a miracle for two complete foreign beings come to understand and touch each others deep, in the act of sharing their thoughts and feelings, opening up the door relishing their violent swirl of emotions deep down inside

...again, it might be just me fantasizing and idealizing the idea of love, reading too much or too light into the situation

still, who cares right?

what matters lies in the effort put forth into such act of exploring and venturing... right



it is spring and it is time for expedition, is it not?



...Take my hand let's see where we wake up tomorrow

...so let's get drunk on our tears



damn it is beautiful

  “I always feel this pressure of being a strong and independent icon of womanhood, and without making it look my whole life is revolving around some guy. But loving someone, and being loved means so much to me. We always make fun of it and stuff. But isn't everything we do in life a way to be loved a little more?”

another quote, probably from Before sunset...

These two movies, Before sunrise and Before sunset totally evade my mind these days

as if almost each and every singular sentence of the conversation tries to tame me its idea of love and the universe, transcends its substances in the act of binding itself into my whole being



Let me read further into my mess of feelings for these two movies, before pinning it down here :)

For the heart is an organ of fire

The bridges of Madison County 

This kind of certainty only comes once in a life time

It is a story of a love affair between a National geography journal photographer and a normal housewife which only last 4 days, a four-days of a lifetime, if you truly comprehend the significance of it

Some may say it's a typical setting for any love affair story
Some might argue against its morality values
Some criticizes the possibility of a 4days affair and the melodrama of it all
but that is only what one says if one has not in truth gone through that kind of love affair to gain an insights of it, of the agony and the guilt it brought on, of the compelling force and the ectasy it draws upon, devilishly powerful enough to call off the guilt of submission to the physical desires  

Maybe 4 days is not a convincing duration of time
Maybe it just romanticizes an unreal love affair
Maybe the point is to bring up the agony awoken amid the realization that their marriage choice is not their perfect one, and that one cant afford to be with their perfect match within society norms and morality, that marriage is idealized and overrated ... yet it might be the wisest choice to remain in that marriage
That if they genuinely leave their family for the affair, something will destroy the magic of it

Well I dont know. Now that I looked at it several weeks after actually watching it with a calmer and more rationale mind, I cant help feeling it was romanticizing an almost impossible relationship though I was touched and felt for them then

But who knows... "for the heart is an organ of fire" (The English patient)

***************************

So I guess this is goodbye....
The surreal and unbearable lightness of an ending
no farewell or parting words are spoken
at best, we avoided it by faking a promise of a future that I'm so well aware would not exist
deep down, we on our own must've felt so distinctly the incurable and irresistible break of the tie we both share.. yet we lack the courage of admitting and embracing that ruthless truth

and today I read something I've written some 5 years ago about human, words and relationship
of whether words are worth all that attention
of whether one's feeling value, or significance solely rests on the fact whether they are expressed or made known to the others, the objects or subjects causing them
and I made up my mind to make an effort to avoid the unnecessary silence or at least to properly speak out my mind
I couldnt recall those thoughts had lingered on my mind
but surely i was obsessed with it
...5years after as I am today, and here I go:
still, sometimes words are better left unspoken...
especially if they are directed or intended to hurt others
again I'm contradicting my own arguments, think twice before you speak
stay honest but it should never be meant to hurt others solely for the sake of your outburst

we need the right balance
of everything and in anything