So here I am, being utterly loss and clueless as of where to go and where to head to
Yes, I’m facing the so-called quarter-life crisis (or mid-life crisis haha) if you fancy the term
Again, many things somehow seem out of control to me
Well, I’m at the kind of loss after you finally reached certain purposes and you start to wonder what should be your next
Should it be your place to settle or should you just keep moving on?
Is it too early or is it too late or simply just not the time yet?
Am I going anywhere near the life I want
I know for sure that most of people are living their life, clueless of what they are heading to… but isn’t it how life is supposed to be
Like you just have to live it, the so-called damn life
And at times like these, the term “the anguish of living” just popped out in my mind
It all suddenly sounds extremely troublesome to ever do or achieve anything at all
Human beings are selfish and greedy creatures, extending their “being” without knowing anything called limits or satisfaction.
Or is it just me? LOL
Either I’m demanding too much or I am thinking too much on this subject.
What is it in life after all?
This time last year, I was struggling to find my place in my probably most favorite place in the world, Japan….
This time this year, I am at a loss whether I should settle here or set myself another destination and work to move on? Haha
Even though I am not very willing to go through all the tough times I’ve been through again ..
I would find myself dreaming of some destination or contemplating on how blessed I am, being here and now in this place and time, with wonderful things and awesome people I’ve met… yet the farewell of it all does seem like an invisible ghost threatening to come every now and then when I feel incomplete
...
the above was written like a month ago
the me now was more or less calmer, or my unstable and insane mess is just lurking somewhere, waiting for its chance to mercilessly ooze out wiping off all my effort to remain sane and calm
was it a blessing in disguise or was it a bless after all ? the fact that I was with you
or maybe it is all just the work of human psychology
people dont appreciate what they have at the present and always color their past melancholic
but i did make a choice
i did ask to be involved
just that every single time i think it's okay to try my best and press ahead, to make effort to connect and settle myself here
things would just happen questioning my resolution and wavering my heart
as if love is a miserable thing and i am asking for too much with too little input
and if such was to be the fact, then all to do would just to blame myself
but was it all to be worked on
maybe... i'm just as clueless
a human heart is a complicated organ, let alone the heart of a maiden
it is both entertainingly intriguing yet equally agonizing thinking about how human heart works, acts, beats, aches, joys, tenders and breaks
again i'm wandering aimlessly and buried in my own abyss of thoughts
could someone extend that single signalling light again
...
the above was written like a month ago
the me now was more or less calmer, or my unstable and insane mess is just lurking somewhere, waiting for its chance to mercilessly ooze out wiping off all my effort to remain sane and calm
was it a blessing in disguise or was it a bless after all ? the fact that I was with you
or maybe it is all just the work of human psychology
people dont appreciate what they have at the present and always color their past melancholic
but i did make a choice
i did ask to be involved
just that every single time i think it's okay to try my best and press ahead, to make effort to connect and settle myself here
things would just happen questioning my resolution and wavering my heart
as if love is a miserable thing and i am asking for too much with too little input
and if such was to be the fact, then all to do would just to blame myself
but was it all to be worked on
maybe... i'm just as clueless
a human heart is a complicated organ, let alone the heart of a maiden
it is both entertainingly intriguing yet equally agonizing thinking about how human heart works, acts, beats, aches, joys, tenders and breaks
again i'm wandering aimlessly and buried in my own abyss of thoughts
could someone extend that single signalling light again
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