about 2016

And 2016 starts just as vaguely and quietly as ever

I'd been able to spend my time almost mindlessly together with my family

It was indeed a kind of nameless and simple relief that you only find whenever you are back at where you were born, with the members you had spent your first and longest 20years of life with

Certainly I am thankful and feeling bless being born into my current family

My parents seemed to be quite prepared mentally that I am not gonna be back living in VN, at least any time soon

I love how they always give me the freedom of choice I could take in life, without pressing on me their ideology, ambition or any conventions their generation may embed on their minds

And I am thinking to blog this entry, writing about you again

maybe it is just the work of mind but my heart would get tender, thinking about you, the big clumsy boy i would love to take care of

I would miss seeing you and listen to your music at the spots when i have time for myself

I would want to hear your voice, wondering if you are not suffering frm another cold only to get your emotionless chilled voice disappointing me in anyway possible

and you would just laugh it off every time i comment on your coolness to me

but i would always recall how you hold me close, caressing my back telling me that you are a cold person when i commented so and nod your head when i offer to warm your heart up jokingly

or the way you smile happily receiving the music box with the melody of "I just called to say i love you" 

and the way you would look disappointingly at the clock saying the time flies too fast

or how white and tired you were, catching a cold and still paying me a visit to keep your promise with me despite all that

and being sick as you were, trying your best to please me the way you can

i might just be blind in love but it just softens my heart typing down these things

i am touched at the care and attention i am having from you, the cool clumsy emotion-distant boy

and you would patiently wait for me to unpack my luggage on my trip back, just to perform your own way to express your emotion

and the way you nod your head in silence to finally admit that you missed me while i am away... maybe just as much as I miss your presence

I am not sure if I am lowering my standards and do i have one in the 1st place? after all, my family is just as average and at times you would resemble my dad so much

at times i was wondering if i just somehow ended up taking my responsibility for approaching you first... but in that fact alone lies my fate of being with you

and all the while it always feels right, being with you, an all brand new kind of relationship i've ever been with.

maybe it is the first with you too, being together with someone like me

and i was saying i hope this year my heart will be calmer and able to taste the joy of life to the fullest

and i was telling you that i hope you will be able to express yourself better, at least around me

and you seemed to agree with me on that

and I can easily foresee my life not being all financially comfortable and all carefree in the future family picture with you, but that is fine

i would rather take care of you than hurting you. that is my very resolution. at least for now

...............

and according to the various horoscope from Western to Asian, it seems that this is not gonna be any good year for me... sth along "prepare for the worst"

well, it's not like I can't imagine it
as i have little to no satisfaction of my current job, working condition or relation ...
and my mood swing and out-of-energy mood
so yeah, prepare for and expect the worst as you would like to call it
maybe i still have no idea at the extensive at how bad it could turn
sigh.

so it is very late but hello again 2016
it would be great if it turns out the other way though ^^